I Am the ‘Boys Have a Penis’ Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: A Look Back.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is best known as an iconic tough guy. However, at the height of his cinematic dominance in the eighties and nineties, he also starred in several surprisingly great comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which celebrates its 35th anniversary this December.
The Film and That Line
In the hit comedy, Schwarzenegger embodies a tough police officer who masquerades as a elementary educator to track down a criminal. For much of the movie, the procedural element serves as a loose framework for Schwarzenegger to have charming scenes with children. The most unforgettable features a child named Joseph, who out of nowhere announces and declares the former bodybuilder, “It's boys who have a penis, and girls get a vagina.” Schwarzenegger responds dryly, “Thank you for that information.”
The boy behind the line was portrayed by youth performer Miko Hughes. Beyond this role encompassed a notable part on Full House as the bully to the famous sisters and the pivotal role of the youngster who comes back in the screen translation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He continues to act today, with several projects on the horizon. He also engages with fans at fan conventions. Not long ago discussed his memories from the filming of the classic 35 years later.
A Young Actor's Perspective
Question: Starting off, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: My understanding is I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.
Wow, I have no memory from being four. Do you retain any flashes from that time?
Yeah, a little bit. They're flashes. They're like mental photographs.
Do you recall how you were cast in Kindergarten Cop?
My family, especially my mother would take me to auditions. Often it was a mass tryout. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all patiently queue, be seen, be in there for a very short time, do whatever little line they wanted and that was it. My parents would feed me the lines and then, once I learned to read, that was the initial content I was reading.
Do you have a specific memory of meeting Arnold? What was your take on him?
He was extremely gentle. He was enjoyable. He was good-natured, which I guess stands to reason. It'd be weird if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a productive set. He was fun to be around.
“It would have been odd if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom.”
I was aware he was a big action star because that's what my parents told me, but I had never really seen his movies. I felt the importance — it was exciting — but he didn't really intimidate me. He was merely entertaining and I was eager to interact with him when he was available. He was working hard, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would cling to his muscles. He'd tense up and we'd be dangling there. He was incredibly giving. He bought every kid in the classroom a yellow cassette player, which at the time was the hottest tech. It was the must-have gadget, that iconic bright yellow cassette player. I played the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for years on that thing on that thing. It wore out in time. I also received a genuine metal whistle. He had the referee's whistle, and the kids all received one too as well.
Do you remember your time filming as being enjoyable?
You know, it's amusing, that movie was this cultural thing. It was such a big movie, and it was such an amazing experience, and you would think, looking back now, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, working with [director] Ivan Reitman, traveling to Oregon, seeing the set, but my memories are of being a selective diner at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I avoided pizza. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the original Game Boy was new. That was the coolest toy, and I was proficient. I was the youngest and some of the other children would ask for my help to beat difficult stages on games because I could do it, and I was really proud of that. So, it's all childhood recollections.
The Infamous Moment
OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember anything about it? Did you grasp the meaning?
At the time, I probably didn't know what the word taboo meant, but I realized it got a reaction and it made adults laugh. I understood it was kind of something I shouldn't normally say, but I was given special permission in this case because it was humorous.
“She really wrestled with it.”
How it originated, based on what I was told, was they hadn't finalized all the dialogue. Certain bits of dialogue were established early on, but once they had the whole cast on the set, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they developed it during shooting and, I suppose it's either the director or producers came to my mom and said, "We have an idea. We want Miko to have this line. Are you okay with this?" My mom paused. She said, "I need to consider this, I'll decide tomorrow" and took some time. It was a tough call for her. She said she wasn't sure, but she thought it could end up as one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and she was right.
