From ‘Negative Influences’ - Uncover the Reasons Negative Friends Might Help for You
Myself am hungry for advice from those about handling midlife challenges, for example existential reckonings, fading relevance, growing a neck resembling a melted timepiece and a newfound passion regarding sunny relocation programs. Recently, I discovered Jamie Oliver’s words about hitting fifty via a discussion: “Trimming unnecessary clutter is key to enjoying your later years,” he noted. “Just be with lovely people. I’m avoiding negative people – ‘mood hoovers’ – and getting better at saying no.”
At first, I pondered: isn’t there a tension between “avoiding negative people” and “getting better at saying no”? Could that imply he needs to dodge his own tendencies? I realize – that’s typical energy vampire talk, and I admit I fit the description. However, among our group, we favor the term “energy drainer”. Refrain from using “downer” or “spoil-sport” – these comparisons to everyday gear are insulting; we possess sentiments (though often pessimistic). If forced, I’d agree to “gloomy soft cover”.
Maybe you belong to this group as well. Do you tend to be the event’s realist rather than its cheerleader? When you give an exhaustive answer to “How are you?”, does the other person slowly retreat? Do you greet “fun” activity suggestions with an expression that makes you look like you’ve swallowed a slug? Do you strongly identify with Eeyore; has a psychic ever told you your aura is grey?
If this describes you, you’re in our ranks, and that’s acceptable. Even as popular advice encourages cutting ties with “exhausting” pals, I believe we provide genuine benefits. I imagine a negative type would have voiced caution – or pulled a disapproving expression – when Jamie mentioned his children’s book idea featuring an Indigenous protagonist without proper consultation, potentially averting numerous issues, hurt, and anger. You don’t get that sort of service from “lovely people”.
